About IFS
(Internal Family Systems)
What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a compassionate way of understanding ourselves.
We all have different parts that respond to life's experiences in different ways. Some work hard to keep us safe, some criticise us in an effort to protect us from failure, some avoid difficult feelings, while others carry pain, fear or vulnerability.
IFS sees these parts as understandable responses to our life experiences, rather than something that is wrong with us.
By approaching them with curiosity and compassion, we can begin to understand them more fully and develop a kinder relationship with ourselves.
Why people seek IFS
People come to IFS for many different reasons.
Some are experiencing anxiety, depression, trauma, shame or emotional overwhelm. Others feel caught in patterns that are difficult to understand or change.
Many people notice an inner conflict between different parts of themselves. One part may want change while another feels frightened. One part may push forward while another feels exhausted or overwhelmed.
IFS offers a way of making sense of these inner experiences and approaching them with greater understanding rather than judgment.
Over time, this can help people feel less conflicted within themselves, develop a kinder and more compassionate relationship with themselves, and feel more at ease with who they are.
All parts are welcome
One of the core ideas within IFS is that all parts of us have a reason for being there.
Even the parts that criticise, avoid, explain, shut down, become angry or seek a quick fix may be trying to protect us in some way.
Often these parts developed in response to difficult experiences and have worked hard to help us cope.
Rather than trying to get rid of these parts, IFS invites us to become curious about them.
When these parts are met with understanding and compassion, they often reveal the positive intentions behind the behaviours that can sometimes feel frustrating or confusing.
Parts will be able to release the feelings and beliefs they have taken on and become more of who they were really born to be.
This can be a deeply relieving experience, especially for parts that have spent a long time feeling misunderstood, criticised or pushed away.
How I approach IFS
IFS is one of the main approaches that informs my work alongside integrative psychotherapy and eco-psychotherapy.
Some people come specifically looking for IFS. Others simply find that thinking in terms of parts helps them make sense of what they are experiencing.
Rather than applying a fixed method, I work collaboratively and adapt the approach to the person in front of me.
Together, we can explore what feels most helpful, supportive and appropriate for you.
What IFS therapy may involve
IFS therapy often begins by noticing the different parts of you that may show up in everyday life.
There may be parts that become anxious, critical, overwhelmed, angry, people-pleasing, protective or withdrawn.
Together, we can begin to understand these parts and the roles they have taken on over time.
Rather than focusing on symptoms alone, the work gently explores what these parts may be carrying and what they may need.
Over time, many people find that difficult emotions and patterns begin to make more sense.
As parts are met with greater curiosity and compassion, they are able to release burdens of outdated feelings and beliefs that they have been carrying so that balance and coherence are felt in the whole system.
The aim is not to get rid of parts of yourself, but to develop a different relationship with them.
FAQ
Could IFS be right for you?
Many people come to IFS therapy believing there is something wrong with them, only to discover that what they are experiencing often makes sense when understood more fully.
IFS offers a different way of relating to ourselves — one that is grounded in curiosity, compassion and the belief that all parts of us have a reason for being there.
If you're wondering whether IFS therapy could be helpful for you, please get in touch. Together, we can explore whether it feels like the right approach for you.